Not to say that he doesn't have his moments. While Ivan was in Peru for the yearly regional conference, I had some intense 1 on 1 time with B. Let's just say there were a lot of tears and not just Benjamin's! There were some middle of the night breakdowns (from me). I had a lot of grand plans to accomplish different projects around the house and ended up not doing a single one. A readjustment of my expectations was key. Everyone told me to sleep as much as I could while pregnant---now I know why! I'm beginning to question whether I shall ever sleep through the night again. I've read many books, articles, and blogs on the subject of getting your baby to sleep through the night. Quickly, I found myself comparing Benjamin to other babies and in effect comparing myself as a mother to others and feeling like I was failing. It doesn't take much does it, to start going down that rabbit hole. A big reminder that every baby is different and every parent is different and to just chill out about it (plus a big, strong cup of coffee in the morning, doesn't hurt!).
We had the opportunity to present him at church and in a sense "dedicate" him to the Lord. As parents we promise to do our best to raise him up in the ways of the Lord and we (with the church body) prayed a blessing over him. It was a great opportunity to invite our landlord to join us at church and have some open dialogue about religion, YL, and God. We continue to pray for opportunities to share with him through grace and love so that he may know the Lord as his savior.
Benjamin is also officially a citizen of the USA! We finalized all his paperwork and processed his passports. Praise God! Such a blessing to live in Quito and have the US Embassy not so far away. Paperwork here can always feel a bit overwhelming, but we were able to get everything done without a hitch and in a timely fashion.
A theme in my quiet time has been this idea of living generously.
"God is not a secret to be kept. Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16
"No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously." Matthew 5:42
"You have been treated generously, so live generously." Matthew 10:8
I feel like God has really been pointing this out to me. I have a tendency to keep to myself and often looking out for only myself. So naturally, I married someone who is constantly thinking of others and modeling what it means to be a cheerful giver. This past month it seemed like I was always washing sheets and making up the bed in the guest room as we had a constant flow of visitors. From shared meals, to overnight guests, it was busy and my attitude was less than cheerful. Yet, God is very clear in His word that we are to live generously. For me, that means opening up my home (and my kitchen) to others. It means laying down my own "agenda" and giving of my time. It also requires me to be aware of others and in tune with what God wants to do through me. Sometimes it's just about being generous with those closest to me. The verse in Matthew 5:42 really struck a chord with me (No more tit-for-tat stuff...). Maybe I didn't voice it, but in my mind I was keeping score. Who changed the last diaper? Who got Benjamin to sleep? Who got "free" time? I was beginning to allow resentment to build-up because according to my scoreboard, it was not even. Where was my generous heart? Where was my thankful spirit? (somewhere far away, along with blissful hours of sleep...).
Let's strive to live generously friends. There are so many in need. With all of the recent natural disasters and issues facing us, we have a great opportunity to lend a helping hand. To throw the scoreboard in the trash and give, expecting nothing in return. I am praying for God to work in my own heart, to open up my hands and to live generously.
(And one more photo of Benjamin....)
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| 7 weeks old |
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