Rachel's Rhythm

Thursday, November 02, 2017

My calendar actually looked pretty empty this month, giving me the false expectation that it would be a "slower" time for us. I should know by now, that the rhythm of our life has nothing to do with neatly penciled in plans but rather spontaneous trips and an ever-changing day. I know almost every blog post mentions something to that effect, so you're probably thinking, "c'mon Rachel! Move on!". What can I say, it's still a personal struggle for me. So excuse me while I continue to come to terms.

Did I mention the lack of sleep these days? Seems our little nugget still hasn't gotten the memo on sleeping all night. Which is hard. It's harder when Ivan goes away and it's just me and B. It's a good thing he's so darn cute. Right when I'm about to throw my hands up in the air in despair, he flashes me one of his smiles and I find the strength to go on (and coffee helps). Like I've said, this is a new season for me. And it's been a lonely one. I am a bit slow on the whole "finding community" thing and throwing a newborn in the mix makes going out and meeting people that much more overwhelming. Not to mention we are always on the go, meeting up with YL leaders and visiting different areas. So, when there's an option to stay home, I choose it.

Much like any new role or task I undertake, I battle against self-doubt and worthiness. That ever-present question, "Who am I?" Which is why, as I make my way through the book of Matthew I was drawn to the part when God introduces his son, Jesus.

"This is my Son, marked by my love, focus of my delight. Listen to him." Matthew 17:5

Wow. That's quite an introduction. How amazing to be Jesus and have his "daddy" speak this way about him.

This is my son. (belonging)

Marked by my love. (loved)

Focus of my delight. (valued)

Listen to him. (authority)

It led me to question, how do I imagine God speaking of me? And how would that change how I live? So, let's try it out...
This is (Rachel) my daughter.

She is marked by my love.

She is the focus of my delight.

I have given her a voice.

Which part is hardest to believe or claim as truth? That I belong to Him? That His love is inside me? That He values me? That I have a voice? These truths speak deep into the core of me. It doesn't say that I'm perfect or that I've got it all together. In fact, it's got nothing to do with what I do! It has everything to do with how God sees me. It's not by my strength or my doing...it's all Him. He chooses me to be his daughter. He marks me with his love. He delights in me. He gives me authority. Hallelujah! This is good stuff!

So let me end by introducing you to MY son: