I'd like to tell you about Marco. He has a story that none of us would want to have for ourselves or for our children. He is the son in a dysfunctional home. His mother was an adolescent when she became pregnant with him and his father abandoned them. When Marco was very young, his mother had another partner. Marco grew up believing in the idea of a borrowed father. His mother had other children and Marco grew up playing with them. Like most older siblings he was stronger and protected the younger ones. Marco was always an example to his siblings, even though his birth father abandoned him, he grew up in a home full of love. They lived all together in his grandmother's house. When he was 7 years old, tragedy struck. Marco found some explosives that no one knows where they came from, and just like any other day, he was playing with his brother outside of the house, when there was a loud blast. Marco and his brother were victims of what can happen when explosives get into the hands of a 7 and 5-year old. Marco was affected the most because he had the explosives in his hands when they went off. The entire town came together to help raise money and moral for the family put even though many donations were made, no one could give Marco his hands back nor his left eye. That is how I met Marco 6 years ago. After the accident, everyone knew who Marco was but after several months nobody continued asking about him. He didn't leave the house much and I didn't see him play outside with his siblings anymore. Until one day, he visited YL Club in Shell. I was doing my usual greeting of a fist bump. I went into club and greeted each kid one by one and everyone put out their hand/fist until out of all the kids there was an arm extended with no hand. It was just a little mutilated arm. Wow, that moment is impressed upon my mind and I recalled this is the boy who lost his hands a long time ago. I don't remember exactly what I did nor what I said, I think that I greeted him with a slap on the shoulders or something like that. I tried to not act surprised even though it was obvious because I wasn't a good actor in that moment. I couldn't believe that so much time had passed and Marco was now entering adolescence. The rest of club I spent watching him and thinking how could I make him feel included and a part of club. It was a difficult job, I saw that hardly anyone talked to him and it was almost impossible for him to participate in any of the games. My mind was blank as I tried to think about what topics we could talk about, I had no idea what to do or say but the image that I have of him is when everyone is playing ping-pong and the rest of the kids are fighting for their turn to play and he was standing next to the table without moving. He seemed timid, for obvious reasons, he wasn't trying to play ping-pong. I got close to him and asked how long he has been coming to club, he told me he only came 2 times . I asked when was his birthday and we had a fairly awkward conversation for a few minutes. It's practically impossible to have a conversation with all the other kids shouting and yelling over ping-pong. Plus, Marco didn't add much to the conversation only giving short, curt answers. I spoke with the director of club, Cristian (who goes by "Gato") and asked him who Marco lives with and if he knew him. Incredibly, Marco came and went to club by himself. Right after the end of club, he left immediately, as if he couldn't stand to be there one minute more. In an attempt to further the relationship, I ran after him and offered to take him home. He said "yes" and so I started my motorcycle and told him "hop on". Oh, I forgot that he couldn't brace himself and in my head thought, we should have walked but he seemed excited about riding the motorcycle, so somehow he got on. I don't know how to describe it, I don't know if he grabbed me or leaned on me or just balanced himself but his two mutilated arms squeezed my waist with a strength, WOW, it was a very strange sensation. I drove as carefully as I could and we arrived at his house. I didn't want to waste time so I asked if he would like to go to camp, that it would be fun and it was only 2 months away. He told me he didn't have money and I told him not to worry about that if he wanted to come. I had to leave and supervise other clubs, so I didn't go back to shell for almost 4 weeks. I told Gato, "We need to bring this kid to camp, we've never brought someone like this before and it would be a great experience for everyone" so I asked him to be close to Marco and assign a leader to pick him up and drop him off for club. With the coordination and preparation for camp, I didn't know more about him. With only two days before camp, I saw the list of names of campers and Marco wasn't on the list. I called Gato and asked what had happened with Marco and he told me that Marco didn't want to come, for the excuse of money (it's evident his family doesn't have financial resources) but it wasn't that which worried me. I told Gato that three people had donated for him to come to camp, so we needed to make every effort to bring him. His stepfather didn't want to send him, I tried to call but no one answered. Gato insisted with the stepfather that the money was not a problem. With only one day until camp, I didn't know what would happen with Marco. Finally, I received the call from Gato, he told me that Marco didn't want to go. His stepfather said that he felt like he couldn't go because he needs permanent help of someone with him, that's why he didn't want to go. Quickly, Gato assigned a leader to go to camp only to take care of Marco 100% of the time, so that there would be no excuse for Marco not to come to camp. Finally, Marco came to camp and it was a great emotion to see him there. Jimmy was the leader (hero) that would be taking care of him all of camp. During camp I was surprised to see, how over the years, he had developed a way to be very independent. How come his step father didn't want to send him? Gato told me that he could do everything on his own except he needed help to go to the bathroom because he couldn't wipe himself well. Wow, how ignorant I am! I thought so much about how to bring Marco, finding the money, but I never thought that the normal and common needs in life would be impossible for him. That's why it was the first time Marco left his house for long-extended time without the help of his family. Really he needed to find a family in camp, a brother he could trust that he could bring to the bathroom. I have no idea how the experience was for Jimmy with him, but what I do know is that the two of them were together the whole time. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it was in those moments for Marco and Jimmy. What I can see is that Jimmy was the older brother Marco never had. I saw them play together, eat together, go rafting together. Marco was comfortable at camp. I only had a few opportunities to thank Jimmy. We included Marco in the games that we could and we had 87 people at camp, everyone with hands in their respectable places, but the biggest lesson I learned came from the one who had no hands.
The memory that I have of Marco is in the pool, washing his face. I was deflating the inner tubes, and I saw Marco start to incite other kids to throw the leader into the water. I thought, I should give a life jacket to Marco in case he falls into the water. I couldn't believe that Marco was part of this rowdy bunch and pushing others into the pool. For a moment, I thought to shout out "CAREFUL MARCO, YOU CAN FALL!" but I thought Marco may be tired of hearing that phrase so I was quiet and just kept watch from afar. It was incredible how between 4 kids, they got a hold of their leader to throw him into the water. Two held him by the hands and two by the feet and Marco was one of the kids holding the foot. Wow, it was a great lesson he was teaching, of his self-esteem and how he didn't feel less than anyone. That's how I should see him as well, I didn't know that he was a great swimmer and had no need of a life jacket. :) While I saw Marco during the talks, I prayed that one day God would give me the privilege of hearing Marco give a talk at camp one day.
Marco is a warrior in life and I forget that he has limitations. He's learned to be a one of the most energetic boys, maybe one of the only boys that I am glad to see teasing and bothering others because I know that he has not given up, not because of poverty, or for the abandonment of his father, nor for the accident. How many times have I complained because of a pimple on my face or because I didn't like the food. How many times have I complained because it rained while I was on the motorcycle. Yet, I never gave thanks because I could go to the bathroom and clean myself without any help.
Marco turns 13 next month.
We pray for the next chapter of his life as an adolescent, that he continues to be teasing and inciting others and growing in Jesus. We pray for Jimmy who is planning to study in seminary and that he continues to model Jesus on earth. We pray for Young Life, that it continues to grow in Ecuador and reaching many more heroes like Marco
Thank you for being a part of this story.
-Ivan
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