Tip of the Iceberg

This week I failed to practice what I've learned and trust in God; instead, I reverted back to panic and frustration.  Ivan and I are waiting for my visa.  The last we had accomplished was turn in my application.  They told us that if we didn't receive an e-mail in 3 weeks to call to find out if a certain paper was missing or if we needed to do something else.  So, after habitually checking our e-mails, even the spam folders (in case somehow the magical e-mail notification got lost) and no sign of contact, I began searching for information.  After many days of attempted phone calls to the Migration and Foreigners Office, I finally was able to talk to a person who then would transfer me to someone else, this other mystery person, never answered the phone.  Multiple attempts later, hours later, additional calls on other days, my patience was growing thinner and thinner.  On the rare moments that the first woman would actually answer the phone it seemed like we just kept repeating the same little dance.  Finally, after multiple calls in one day, she recognized that I was the same person as before and seemed a little more willing to try something different.  This time she did connect me to an actual person, seeing as how I pleaded with her not to simply transfer me to the other mystery number where no one ever answers.  This second worker informed me that they had contacted us of my interview date, and we never showed up.  Imagine my surprise!  According to this woman, we were sent an e-mail, detailing what day and time our interview was to take place and since we failed to show up, we must now submit a paper asking for a new date.  They will consider our request and....E-MAIL us about the new interview time/day.  I explained that we never received any e-mail but that didn't seem to matter.  It was obviously our problem not hers.  And no, they can not call us in addition to e-mailing us for the next time. 


Fear and frustration began building up in me.  Immediately, my mind is jumping to worst-case scenarios.  Immediately, I am feeling overwhelmed of the impending trips we are going to need to make back and forth to Quito, the additional costs of travel and paperwork to see this thing through.  For the seasoned missionaries out there, this small set-back is nothing.  They may even laugh and seem to pat me on the head like a child, saying, "There, there, little newbie on the block, this is what you've signed up for now.  This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to these things."  And I know it's true, I just didn't want it to be true for me.  After I hung up the phone, I immediately called Ivan to tell him the new information I had been given.  I wanted to have myself a good cry, jump of the ledge into self-pity and frustration.  Good thing I have a husband who keeps me grounded, reminding me to be patient and to offer up these frustrations to the only One who can bring peace.  So here we are preparing to once again pack a bag and go to Quito. 


On September 22nd, Ivan and I are supposed to be heading out to Colombia to attend a YL Directors meeting (Tricolor).  I am wondering now if my visa will be sorted out and my passport ready to go by then.  Ultimately, I know that this is an opportunity to place my trust in the hands of God; to stand on His promises. 

(Another excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

"When you get to your wits' end and feel inclined to succumb to panic, don't; stand true to God and He will bring His truth out in a way that will make your life a sacrament...determine to trust in God."

Easy to read but much harder to put into practice. 
Lord, help me to embrace this opportunity to put my trust in You and to stand firm on Your truth.